Earlier this month, The Obama team came up with a 7-page, 63-question application for all of those interested in worked on his administration. So what’s the big deal? Barack Obama himself fails miserably. Reading these questions, you get the feeling that Obama is paranoid of any further scrutiny from conservatives. You can view the original 7-page application as a PDF file here. Think we conservatives are over-reacting? Just skip the first 2,638 words and look at the last question: “Please provide any other information, including information about other members of your family, which could suggest a conflict of interest or be a possible source of embarrassment to you, your family, or the President Elect.”

Here is a news article about the ridiculous application, but what I found to be most entertaining was this posting below where a blogger named “The Elephant Man” at rightisbest.blogspot.com answers Obama’s own questions for him:
(Be sure to stop by his page and compliment him.)

In case you missed it, Barack Obama has released a 7 page, 63 question application that individuals seeking a job in his administration must fill out before they are considered. After reading over this questionnaire, it became apparent to me that Mr. Obama holds his employees to very high standards. If you haven’t lived an exemplary, perfect life, you need not apply; unless you fudge the truth about your past just a little bit.

In light of the fact that Barack Obama has not lived a perfect life (I might add, that no one on earth has), I thought it might be fun to go through a few of these questions and see how Obama might have answered them, if he were being truthful (which isn’t very likely). I’d like you to read this post as if it were a job interview between Obama’s questionnaire and Obama. Let’s begin shall we.

Questionnaire: Mr. Obama, thank you for coming in today. Please provide the names of all corporations, firms, partnerships, trusts, or other business enterprises, and all non-profit organizations and other such institutions with which you are now, or during the past ten years have been, affiliated with as an advisor, attorney or consultant.

Obama: Oh, okay, uh, I served on the Woods Foundation’s board of directors from 1993 to 2001. The overarching goals of the Woods Foundation included: spreading liberalism, discontent and anger towards America in our public schools, funding the wonderful community organization ACORN, and donating money to Trinity United. Over this 8 year period, I personally oversaw the transfer of over, uh, $150 million to ACORN, Trinity and the public school system. For some reason public schools in, uh, Chicago continue to be among the worst in the United States, oh well, at least the children in these schools are being brainwashed by, uh, radical liberals, uh, like my, uh, good friend William Ayers, did I mention he’s an excellent teacher? Bill and I go way back, in fact, he babysits my children from time to time. His wife is also quite delightful.

Now, uh, I mentioned ACORN. I served as an attorney for the organization back in 1995 and trained its employees to be “community organizers.” I have always had a close relationship with ACORN and am happy to say that ACORN will help to shape my policies when I become president in January.

I also brought up Trinity United. Up until the beginning of this year I was a member of this church, which is led by a wonderful man named Jeremiah Wright. Reverend Wright’s, uh, inspiring sermons have touched my life in, uh, oh so many ways. The Reverend is my spiritual mentor and I consider him to be a second father to me; he performed my, uh, wedding ceremony, baptized my children, and, um, inspired one of my books.

Oh wait, uh, no, uh, forget I said all that. I never worked with ACORN, uh, the organization will have nothing to, um, do with my presidency and I don’t really know Bill Ayers, he’s just a guy in my, uh, neighborhood. Jeremiah Wright isn’t the man I once knew, uh, he’s a radical and my relationship with him was never, uh, um, er meaningful.

Questionnaire: If you or your spouse have performed any work for, received any payments from and/or made any payments to any foreign government, business, non-profit organization or individual, please describe the circumstances, and identify the source and amount.

Obama: Oh, yes, well, as a matter of fact last year I traveled to my homeland Kenya. What a beautiful place, I wish America was more like that I tell you. Children, uh, playing in the streets and, uh, happy as can be unlike here in America. Now, the reason I traveled to Kenya was to campaign for my good friend and relative, Raila Odinga. You might say that I, uh, worked for him in this regards. I also donated money to his campaign and gave him as much advice as I could. I am very, uh, proud of Raila. You see, he lost the election, but was able to take control by murdering Christians and encouraging his followers to participate in tribal warfare. I am sure that Raila will make a great leader; we both hold to the same socialistic, er, um, big government, er, um, wait can I start over? We both hold to the same freedom loving principles; how was that?

As far as donating money to charities, well, I take, er, pride in the fact that I generally donate less than 2% of my income to charities. Michelle and I made $1.2 million between 2000 and 2004 and we only donated $10,772. Some people might call me a Scrooge, but I don’t really care, I’m being frugal with my money. I mean their making a virtue out of selfishness; oh wait, uh, I mean, I’m making a virtue out of selfishness, uh, can I start over again? The government is the only charity I donate to. Wait, can you let that last part slide?

Questionnaire: Moving on, if you or your spouse have ever lived or worked abroad, please describe the circumstances.

Obama: Okay, well, uh, I was born in Kenya, oh, no, uh, I mean Hawaii. I was born in Hawaii. And when I was 6 years old I moved to Indonesia with my mother and step-father. At the time Indonesia did not allow people to be dual citizens, so when I took my step-father’s name, I became an Indonesian citizen and gave up my Kenyan citizen-uh, wait, I mean, my American citizenship-oh, no I mean, I never became an Indonesian citizen. I’ve always been an American citizen. Whew, this is tougher than I thought it would be.

Questionnaire: Briefly describe the most controversial matters you have been involved with during the course of your career.

Obama: Oh, okay, well, uh, I, uh, you know what, I don’t think, uh, I’ve been in too many controversial, uh, instances. Uh, I guess maybe my church was a little controversial, but, uh, I mean, you’d be a racist to accuse Reverend Wright of any wrongdoing. And, uh, maybe my ten year friendship with William Ayers is a little controversial because well, uh, some people seem to think that he is a terrorist, I guess he bombed some stuff or something like that. And some people might think that my support of infanticide is controversial, but I mean, come on, babies, uh, aren’t really people. Others might view my involvement with convicted slum lord Tony Rezko as slightly, uh, controversial, but how else was I gonna get a great price on my house? I guess some might question my voting habits in the Illinois Senate as controversial, I mean, I voted present 130 times or so, but so what. My relationship with the murderous Raila Odinga or my friendship with ACORN might also be misconstrued as somehow controversial as well. But, you know what, all that stuff isn’t really a big deal. Overall, I have lived a controversy free life and to accuse me being controversial, well, uh, that would make you a, uh, typical white person like my, uh, white grandma and well, uh, white people are, uh racist and bitter and cling to their guns and . . . uh, yeah, uh, my teleprompter just went out, uh, can I start over?

Questionnaire: No . . . Please provide the names of three professional references.

Obama: Let’s see, there’s Tony Rezko, William Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, Louis Farrakhan, and Raila Odinga, Bernardine Dohrn; you can pick any three.

Questionnaire: Please identify all speeches you have given.

Obama: Well, you know, I don’t write my speeches. Um, hey, you know what, if you want you can talk to some of my speech writers. Ha, I don’t even really know what the heck I’m saying when I get up to talk. Yes we can, yes we can, change, hope . . . ha, what the heck does that even mean?

Questionnaire: Please describe all real estate held in your name or in your spouse’s name during the last ten years.

Obama: My wife and I bought a beautiful home in Chicago a few years ago. Our friend, Tony Rezko helped us out and we were able to purchase the home well below the market value. It’s great being in the same neighborhood with Rezko, Ayers and Louis Farrakhan. We have parties at Bill’s house all the time; in fact, I launched my political career in his living room. Bill’s parties are great everybody shows up and we all stomp on American flags and talk about how great America would be if it were more like China.

Questionnaire: Do you or any members of your immediate family own a gun?

Obama: Ha, heck no. I hate the second amendment; guns kill people plain and simple. I’m never going to earn a gun and one of my top priorities as president will be to overturn the 2nd amendment and outlaw guns. American citizens shouldn’t be allowed to carry guns; they can’t be trusted with that much freedom or responsibility.

Questionnaire: Do you know anyone or any organization, either in the private sector or government service, that might take steps, overtly or covertly, fairly or unfairly, to criticize your nomination, including any news organization?

Obama: Why yes, yes, I do. I absolutely hate Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly and FOX News. These people spread the truth, er, um, I mean lies, about me and it is terribly annoying. If it weren’t for them, I would be able to do whatever I pleased. Hannity and Limbaugh are always accusing me of something that I’ve done, uh, didn’t do and it’s just wrong. When I become president I’m going to do everything I can to shut down and eliminate anybody who stands in my way or disagrees with me. The Fairness Doctrine must return to silence the truth, uh, lies.

Questionnaire: Well, Mr. Obama thank you very much for coming in today. It sounds as if you have had quite an exciting life. Unfortunately, your countless lies, radical associations, disrespect for the Constitution, and contempt for America, disqualify you from working for yourself.

If you would like to work in politics I would encourage you to move to Cuba, Russia, China or Venezuela. I heard that Vladimir Putin and Hugo Chavez have excellent internship programs and your background would make you a prime candidate for these positions.

Obama: Oh that’s okay. Thanks. I didn’t really want this job anyway. You see, I’ve got a better one lined up . . . President of the United States.

Oh and can you make sure that everyone you hire is able to provide an acceptable and noncontroversial answer to each and every one of your questions?

Questionnaire: Yes sir, I will make sure that everyone I hire from the Secretary of State to the lowliest Paige is more qualified to be president than you are.

Obama: Thank you.

Related posts:

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2. Obama: “Without Stimulus, Unemployment Will Hit 9%,” Didn’t Work, Now It Is 9.4%
3. Obamacare Creates More Unnecessary Work for Already Swamped Doctors
4. Obama flunks test to work legally in U.S.